Ballad's Crescendo
by Chaltab
Summary: A hypothetical conclusion to BobCat's Ballad of the Physics Police. Agony is back, and this time the entire multiverse is in danger. Who is going to stop her? If you said Vengeance, you're only one fifth right! Read on!
1. Didn't See That One Coming

_To understand this story, one must first look up a user of this website, a fellow writer by the name of BobCat. Then, one must read his incredibly funny story _The Ballad of the Physics Police, _which remains unfinished and probably will always be._

_Done? Okay, welcome back. This story is a hypothetical conclusion to that story. Call it a divergent timeline, a Retcon Punch, or whatever you like. Perhaps just a wizzard did it. Nevertheless, here it is._**  
**

**  
Ballad of the Physics Police  
Chapter 67: Didn't See That One Coming**

Erik and Celeste finally escaped from the insane series of games and obstacles that the Physics Police used as entertainment, and found themselves in a hallway oddly identical to every other hall in the massive HQ.

"Is it just me," asked Celeste, "or are we back where we started from?"

Erik sighed. "When your building is as big as a continent, it's probably hard to afford an interior decorator. Come on..."

Erik and Celeste took a right down the hall and ran past a crowd of Barabels and some Ferengi and made it to a bulkhead, when suddenly, doors slammed behind them and in front, and Phil and Ralph suddenly teleported between them and the two exits.

"It's over Erik," Phil said, pointing two open hands charged with chi at the vigilante couple.

"Don't even think of trying to go through us. Omi, GoChibi, and Ryoko's brat are on the other side of the doors," Ralph warned, emphasizing his words with the Force. He repaired the Valkyrie Beam in case he had to use it on the runaway extra-universal fugitives.

"Well, this isn't really what I'd had in mind. We should have stayed in the labyrinth. It would have given us more options." Erik looked around, and then glanced up quickly, and back down. The motion was so quick that Phil and Ralph both thought he had merely blinked.

But it had given Erik enough time to notice both a sprinkler nozzle and an air vent shaft on the ceiling.

"Look," Celeste said, "We don't want—"

But before she could finished, Erik grabbed her. "Come on, Raven!" He jumped, wife in hand, into the vent, knocking the covering away and quickly crawling down the space.

"We fell for the oldest cliché in the book!" Phil blurted. As if there was a cruel manipulator of fate, Erik decided at that moment to use the flamethrower in his cyborg arm to activate the sprinkler and douse Phil and Ralph with water.

Phil's chest swelled up, his hair grew longer, and Phil became female once again.

She cursed Bobcat. "I swear I'm going to... hurt you!"

_Hardly a chivalrous way to behave,_ admonished King Arthur within Phil's skull.

_Isn't cursing the Author what us all into this mess in the first place? _asked Sailor Io?

"**Doesn't matter, guys. It's not me, this time," Bobcat's voice came from above. "This time, it's Chaltab."**

**0000**

Back in Ecks' room, she staggered over to a mirror. "What is wrong with me?" Her headache from earlier had gotten worse, but even more troubling was that she was beginning to feel positively EVIL inside. And it was giving her quite the case of nausea.

Her eyes—they were not even hers. It was like they were bottomless pits of pure LUST. They weren't her eyes... And suddenly, her skin began to literally crawl, and it went from it's normal tan Japanese tone to a fair white shade, just short of making her look like Powder... But her eyes. They didn't change. Pits of endless evil.

They weren't her eyes, she realized.

THEY WERE **_AGONY'S!_**

**0000 **

By the time Erik and Celeste got out of the vent system, the Physics Police and the future girls had almost caught up with them, and they took of into a dead run, eventually coming into an open garden lit by simulated sunlight. It was a nice place in a very dull building.

Erik and his wife slowed and stopped in the middle of the garden. Celeste had been right; Erik needed rest.

He breathed heavily, and said, "Maybe we should give up, and just strike a deal that involves us getting our minds wiped and us sent back home... or something."

"Are you OK, dear?" she asked. It was unlike Erik to give up.

Then, the five pursuers entered the garden. If they had to, she and Erik could run one of four directions.

"Will you PLEASE just give up, Ravensky?" Phil complained, tossing her hair back with a flick of her head. "I AM authorized to go Super Saiyan while I'm a woman. So.. don't mess with me!"

"Funny. I thought that Spider-girl was someone else. It was YOU wasn't it."

Phil growled.

Erik smirked knowingly. "Sorry. I just..." And suddenly, Erik keeled over, his hands hitting the floor hard enough to dig up divots. "No!" he whispered. "NO!"

"What is it?" Celeste gasped, bending down to comfort her husband.

"No... NOT **_HER_**! NOT **_HERE_**!" Erik began sweating profusely—so much that the capillaries in his skin burst and blood seeped from his pores...

And in that moment, Celeste realized in horror what was Erik was talking about, and an instant later, refused to believe it.

Erik seemed paralyzed with fear, not moving except for long, shallow breaths. Ralph and Phil ran over to him. "What's wrong? This had better not be another..."

"She is here," Erik said, his voice a hollow shell of what it had been. "I don't know how. I don't know where. But she is in this building."

"Who?" Phil asked.

"**AGONY**."

**0000**

Heads turned when a shapely woman sheathed from neckline to toe in a black cat suit entered. Men stared at her perfectly sculpted face, and wondered why her eyes remained closed, and how she could still seem to know where she was going without looking...

None of that mattered when she opened her eyes, though; because there was no doubt when she did that she was a princess of hell.

Several men screamed at the sight of her; but those cries were soon cut off when her fingernails suddenly grew in length, cutting through cubicles and steel and flesh, spraying blood everywhere as they dug their way to the center of each body, and wrapped around a heart.

Screams of fear and pain erupted from the survivors, and were magnified when Agony retracted her claws, literally jerking the hearts of half the men in the room out of their chests, where she pulled them over to her, writhing in bliss as the blood dripped off and ran down her body.

Then, one by one, she unhinged her jaw and ate each cardiac muscle individually, slowly chewing until her hands were empty.

But they were hardly clean, and she licked her face and fingers of the blood.

"MONSTER!" Came a cry of a brave, foolish young man that looked like Orlando Bloom. He dived at Agony and, brandishing a 10-gage, shot her head off, chunks of bone and brain soup exploding allover the floors. The ensign Mather, sighed heavily, and started to the comm. to alert that the threat had been neutralized—already the alarms were blaring in the background from the survivors, gone to warn everyone...

But a sharp pain lashed through his shoulder and pinned him to the wall. He craned his neck, clawing to see what was behind him, and nearly tore his arm off, the crimson life flowing out of him as he tore his arm away from the dart that had pinned him..

And there she was, her head fully reformed by the dark evil that powered her. And her eyes—OH! Her eyes were a pit, an unending well of sheer cruelty.

"De... Demon!" Ensign Mather screamed. But it did not save him. The evil woman punched him in the chest, knocking him against the wall and ramming the opposite shoulder back through the spike that first drove him into the wall, cutting right through the nerve.

Mather shrieked in pain for ten full minutes as she tortured him, slowly killing him for her own sadistic pleasure... But he didn't DIE after ten minutes. He simply lost his voice from screaming...

It took a full thirty before he finally breathed his last...

**0000**

"You're sure?" Phil blurted.

Erik just nodded.

"HOW? I thought she was dead!"

"I don't know." Erik drew Redemption. "I cut her down with this blade. I watched her die. We are connected, and if she had survived I would have known…" His eyes grew wide for a moment. "She learned to sever that connection. It's back now, but it allowed her to survive. But I don't know how—I was so sure she was dead this time. Really gone."

Ralph spoke up, "What if her... soul, for lack of a better word, was contained IN the blade?"

"If that were the case, then where—" Erik's eyes suddenly shot wide. "Jun!" He blurted.

"Jun?" Phil asked. "You mean Ecks?"

The expression on Erik's face said it all.

Ralph reached out in the Force, searching for their under-the-weather companion... And found a well of evil, Jun's soul but a muffled whisper in an unending torrent of wickedness. He fell over, and almost vomited, barely able to sense Jun's murky presence in the ocean of darkness, and not wanting to delve any father into this depravity to make contact.

"Oh, no!" Suddenly, Ralph began to sweat like Erik had, though not quite as strenuous, as his perspiration did not become blood. "She's got Ecks! She—I can't explain it. But Agony... Not a woman," Ralph took a deep breath and stood up. "Phil. We are in deep excrement."

Phil nodded, and Ralph perceived that Phil was now gladder than ever to be something other than a Jedi. The Ultimate Warrior sat down and thought, clearly despairing. If Agony was half as bad as Erik said, how could they hope to defeat her?

"I'll go," Erik said. "I brought her into this place, and I will finish her off. It ends today." Erik cursed Agony and took off down one of the halls.

"Be careful, Chris," Celeste whispered once he was gone.

"Mrs. Ravensky," Ralph said. "Aside from the sword, does Agony have any weaknesses?"

Celeste blinked. "She... This sounds ridiculous, I know: Love hurts her. Love, Joy. Happiness, I suppose. Her power is strengthened by pain, but pain inflicted with no motivation but pure love—she can't draw strength from it."

"That could be useful information," Ralph said.

"It's hopeless. If Erik sweats blood at the _thought _of her, then what can we do? If hitting her just makes her stronger, then how can we hope to win?" Phil was obviously PMSing and seriously needed some testosterone. But Ralph sensed that even that might not console her.

_What do you think you're doing? _Io blurted within Phil's brain_. You're the reincarnation of a Moon Kingdom warrior! Act like it._

_The lady doth have a point, _said Arthur_. How canst thou call thyself a King of England if thou backest away from an enemy at hearsay?_

Phil sighed inwardly. Her hope stopped falling, but it didn't rise any either. _It's Erik's battle. We should just let him fight it._

Io and Arthur both were outraged, but Io was more vocal about it. Or... mental about it. Whatever. _Where's your pride? Are you saying that you're going to let that cyborg vigilante show you up when you could have the biggest case of the century under YOUR belt and finally get both the respect and power you deserve?_

_You're right, _Phil suddenly told her. "What the frack was I thinking?"

"Huh?" was the consensus from Ralph and the girls.

"We're the Physics Police! We are better than this! We need to prepare for even the slightest chance Erik doesn't win. Or, we just steal his kill outright."

"Agony is... crafty to say the least," Celeste said. "Some of the things she's adapted to in the past, from what Erik has told me..." she trailed off.

"I understand," said Phil. "And that's why we have to get the ball rolling. If Erik loses, it's up to us." She walked over to a flowing aqueduct through the garden, stole a plastic cup from a child, emptied the soft drink therein, and dipped it in the water. Phil focused her chi to warm the water to nearly boiling, despite protests and shin kicks from the small human.

"What are you doing?" Ralph asked. He watched as Phil dumped the contents allover her body, which caused her chest to contract greatly, her frame to widen, and her brown hair to shorten to a much more masculine length... Phil was now male again.

He tossed the cup back to the child, who was now standing mouth hanging open, flabbergasted by what he'd just witnessed. (Some parents shielded their kids from the weirder going-ons around the HQ.)

"Contact O'Conners," Phil said. "Tell him with have a Omega Class emergency—infiltration by a near indestructible evil entity."

"Right," Ralph agreed, and did so.

"Omi, GoChibi, Ryoko," Phil said. "You too, Ralph. Come with me."

The five made their way to a small room labeled SU-8 LRR (Last Resort Room) . "Joe won't mind," Phil explained to the kids and Ralph. They're off on a mission to Chiss Space looking for an escaped Klingon mercenary.

"What is this room?" Ralph said.

"It's a mass transport unit—SU-8 prepared it for another possibility; we are going to use it against Agony. Get every superhero group you can find; The Justice League, The Justice Society, Titans, Outsiders, Doom Patrol, Avengers, Fantastic Four... Spider-man, the X-Men, The Z-Senshi, Sailor Senshi..."  
"The 'Tenchi crew'?" asked Ryoko, referring to her father and the rest back in FC-1.

"Yeah."

"And Ranma, too?" Ralph asked.

"Anyone you can think of!" Phil pressed some buttons, and O'Conners transferred from Ralph's com to a large screen in the SU-8 LRR...

"Can you please explain to me what's going on here?" O'Conners blurted. "Why did Ralph request an Omega—"

Phil cut him off. "Agony. Ravensky's grief. She somehow survived, and has possessed Ecks, and she's currently in the base. Sorry, sir, but I'm taking some matters into my own hands. If you can, get EVERYTHING we can to slow her down. I have a plan, but it will take a while to put into effect."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Open the Big Gate, sir. Bring in EVERYONE. The Grand Army of the Republic—the Chiss Ascendancy Fleet---The TDC if you have to. This threat is bigger than even I really know, if Ralph and Erik are to be believed."

"How do we know this 'Vengeance' is trustworthy?"

"Sir, to speak frankly, when Erik sensed her, he began sweating blood."

Phil's statement hanged in the air, as O'Conners processed the seriousness of someone like Erik being THAT stressed.

"I'll do what I can."

"Phil," Ralph said, "I'm having trouble locating the Dragon Ball Universe that Agony previously visited." Ralph suddenly winced and his demeanor changed. "People are dying, Phil. I feel them crying out in the Force."

"I can't make the pain go away, but perhaps I can help find that Dragon Ball Universe," Celeste said.

"How'd you get in here?" Phil blurted.

"Did you expect me to just wait in the garden?"

"Right. Ralph, you and Celeste get to work on finding that Dragon Ball Universe. If nothing else, Goku and the others will have motivation, and are known to be SSJ4—which is REALLY odd since Dragon Ball GT doesn't exist, it being a big-budget fan fiction in and of itself. But I digress.

"Girls, keep beaming in those heroes. Get the FC-1 versions whenever you can to avoid culture shock, but NOT the FC-1 Z-Senshi."

"What are you going to do?" Ralph asked, glancing over his shoulder and seeing that Phil was clearly reading think it's time to fight apparent violations of Universal Law with more violations," he said. "Unless of course, Agony speaks German."

"You mean?"

"Yup. The Joke."

"I know Agony doesn't speak German," Celeste interjected. "What is 'the joke'?"

Phil explained it to her.

**0000**

The elevator fell to the bottom, all fifteen people on board dying instantly—except for Agony. She crawled out of the lift she had doomed, drenched in the blood of its former occupants.

"AGONY!" a familiar voice resounded. When Agony's eyes reformed after having been gouged out, Erik Ravensky was standing in front of her, Redemption drawn and ready to cut her down again.

Agony licked the blood from her face. She said nothing, but just stared at Erik, with her horrible lust-filled eyes.

Those eyes...


	2. Having A Plan

**Ballad of the Physics Police  
Chapter 68: Having a Plan**

Ralph followed Phil to a terminal in the back of a cordoned off section of the Physics Police base, where he had told Ralph to use the Force in order to distract some guards. Finally, the duo had made it into a room with a big and very off limits computer. "Phil, you're not making any sense. Fanfiction isn't real! What do you hope to find here?"

"Answers," Phil said. "Answers to why the fan fiction in which Agony entered the Dragon Ball Z universe is real when all the others are not."

"That's what this probe is for?" Ralph asked, holding up the psychic detonator Phil had told him to carry. Mostly so he could walk around with clinched fists and arms locked in _rigor mortis_ (but without the_ mortis _part), just to look angry.

Ralph flashed a bit of resentment over the fact that the girls had been left alone with Celeste, still not having found the correct Dragon Ball Universe. But Phil insisted this was important.

"No, the probe is part of my plan, but first I need to know something."

As Phil approached the terminal, an officer Phil had never seen stepped out and told him a level-843 authorization was required to be admitted beyond this point. Phil glared at the man and then punched him across the room with a small burst of chi, and the guard collapsed to the floor unconscious upon hitting the wall of the far end.

This prompted a door to open and release a duo of armed Yuuzhan Vong Hunter battle droids. "Belgium!" Phil screamed, throwing up a ki shield to block the incoming blaster bolts.

"Phil!" Ralph waited till Phil looked his direction and tossed Phil the heavy probe, then cast a fireball at one droid, while simultaneously using the Force Power Destroy Droid on the other. The one hit by the fireball didn't go down, so Ralph repeated Destroy Droid, fusing circuits and breaking wires until it fell apart.

"Good job," Phil said. "I could have done that too, but... You know. I'm busy holding the probe."

Ralph rolled his eyes. "Sure."

Ignoring being upstaged yet again, Phil half flew, half walked over to the large terminal that was mercifully undamaged in the fight.

"Search for, _Fanfiction," _he said, typing it as he went.

FANFICTION IS NOT REAL.

"Search for _Dead Universes."_

YOU DO NOT HAVE CLEARANCE TO ACESS THESE FILES

"I bet I don't." Phil began hacking, occasionally asking Ralph to make predictions in the Force, to which Ralph normally replied that the Force could not be used that way.

"Fine," Phil said. "Ralph, use that _destroy droid_ power on this thing."

"How will that help?" Ralph asked.

"Just do it. We'll find another terminal."

Ralph raised his hands and opened up to the Force...

The computer screen flickered: WAIT. THIS UNIT DOES NOT WISH TO BE DESTROYED.

"Ah ha!" Phil said. "I knew you were sentient. I can hack anything that isn't!"

_Only thanks to our help, said Io. We raise your IQ by at least 20 points._

_Lady Io speaketh the truth, Phil. said Arthur. Givest thou credit where thine credit is due._

Phil ignored the voices in his head. "Tell me what I want to know."

The computer, suitably scared by Ralph's threat, began displaying information on the giant screen—page after page of contraband information. Phil began reading the words, and suddenly, a whole new world seemed to be opening up.

Lies. Everything he thought he knew about the subject of fan fiction universes was a lie...

**0000**

"I've been thinking," Agony said after a while of the two just staring at each other in mutual antagonism. Erik was full of hate, Agony full of evil glee. "What would it be like from your perspective? If I was in your shoes and there was me running around. How angry it must make you..."

She didn't continue, so Erik asked, "What did you find?"

Agony smiled. "That I really don't give a—f" before she could finish, Erik pistoned out a mechanical fist into Agony's face, cutting her with his claws and sending her head spinning around in circles, breaking her neck several times over.

Then he drew Redemption, from which Agony jumped away. She extended a fingernail until it was about four feet long, and then broke it off and wielded it like a katana. The two blades clashed together in front of the elevator, and Erik dove away, springing off the wall and lunging forward trying to ram the sword through Agony's stomach. Agony stepped to the side, however, and swung her blade down at Erik as he passed...

But Vengeance was too swift, bringing redemption around and blocking the blow that would have removed his foot without negating his forward motion. He rolled as he landed, and sprang back up, viciously assaulting the devil woman—he poured all his might and more into every blow, and for a moment, Agony was having trouble adjusting.

High.

Low.

Parry.

Erik whirled around and tried to claw out her eyes—he succeeded, but the wounds heal quickly. She was gaining strength, just as she had in the Dragon Ball Universe.

She had never seen such ferocity from him, at least not simultaneously with preternaturally precise technique and finesse, and suddenly, Agony found herself disarmed...

"My demand stands," Erik stated. "Die." He swung Redemption around, dragging it across her neck causing blood to pour out her jugular. Then he reversed it and rammed the blade through her stomach.

Agony's eyes bulged in surprise, and she staggered back. But Erik was suddenly alamred to realized she _wasn't_ in any pain...

"This is... odd," Agony said. For once, she looked honest-to-God confused out of her mind. Well, as honest to God as any demon could be, at least...

"I feel the pain," she said, and inhaled in euphoria as she drew another breathed. "I enjoy this pain. But I can't draw strength from it." Erik's eyes flashed, and he realized what was going on: Once again, Agony had adapted—the Redemption was no longer powerful enough to affect her! "Curiosities," she shrugged. "Ta, Ta, Christopher," Agony said, making Erik furious at her for using his real first name, and suddenly, she melted into a pit of black and phased through the floor—off the find new victims.

Erik fell to his knees and looked at the blade.

Agony had been utterly destroyed before, in another Universe, by a Spirit Bomb made of all the love and hope of the Galaxy. But that had been undone when Erik had used his wish to the Eternal Dragon to reset time to the point before he'd thrown the evil woman into the portal, and had brought her back into his own world, just to save theirs.

Even if she had somehow become immune to Redemption, she could be beaten here...

But where would he find a Spirit Bomb?

**0000**

"Should I bring in the Skywalkers?" GoChibi asked Omi.

"Hm. I don't see why not..."

"NO!" blurted Tenchi's daughter Ryoko. "Ralph barely touched her with the Force and fell over. If she were to kill a Jedi or Sith—ANYONE with Force sensitivity, then she would gain that ability her self... And then..."

Omi and GoChibi looked at her.

"She could use the Force on others, _baka_," Ryoko said with a frustrated sigh.

"She might even_ kill_ your 'Force'," Celeste said. The statement hanged in the air for a moment.

"OK, no combat Jedi," Omi said. "But I'm bringing in a Jedi Healer in addition to some of E.T.'s race. We'll need healers."

The other girls nodded and continued searching. After a few minutes, Celeste said, "There it is!" pointing to a set of data on GoChibi's screen.

"You certain?"

"Mostly," the woman replied. It did not instill them with a lot of confidence.

Suddenly, Erik entered the Last Resort Room with a few minor scratches. "She is immune to Redemption," he said, and his wife gasped.

"What!" Celeste blurted.

Ryoko was more concerned about other issues, "How the heck did you get in here?"

"I followed the trail Celeste left for me," Erik stated. "Now, as I was saying..." Erik was clearly getting angry. "We have to stop her in a way that doesn't involve throwing large numbers of wimps at her. The more people she kills, the more powerful she will become."

GoChibi raised an eyebrow, "We're working on it OK. You're wife just helped us find the Dragon Ball Z dimension that Agony visited before."

Erik winced slightly at such an unceremonious description as 'visited' to denote what Agony had done there—the pain she had caused and death she'd brought, but he let it go. "Good. Goku remembers what happened there. He won't hold back."

"What about my dad?" GoChibi asked.

"Who's your dad?"

"Son Gohan," she stated proudly, then thought better of it, and shrugged. "The version you know isn't my father."

"I gathered that. Because Agony... killed him, he didn't remember anything that happened when the world reset—I have no idea why any of this happened, or even how I remember it. Agony remembers, though."

Omi stood up. "That doesn't matter. We're about to bring in the soldiers. Ravenskys. Follow us and join those who will fight against the evil one!"

As they went, GoChibi whispered to Omi, "Nice drama, there."

**0000**

Phil and Ralph stared in horror at the screen. So this was it. The truth. It read:

_If you are reading this, then you know the underlying deception the Physics Police must maintain. We tell our operatives from the lowest recruits to section commanders the same thing: fan fictions are not real. We even place an annoying young ensign that they won't feel guilty about offing in every Monitor Room—and destroy him when they decide to demonstrate it in order to reinforce the belief that considering the fact that this story is indeed a fan fiction should negate our existence, yet it does not. _

_Fanfiction is controlled by the destruction of any unstable universe. These detestable but necessary procedures have come to be known as UNIVERSE ABORTIONS by those who perform them._

UNIVERSE ABORTIONS was clickable, so Phil clicked on it.

_In order negate the levels of chaos produced by the Universes that eventually become fan fiction, all universes clearly matched with an existing fan fiction story are immediately destroyed. This rule has exceptions, primarily when destruction of a universe would at some point destroy a canon character from a non-fan fiction universe. _

"That explains how Agony and Erik were able to enter the DBZ universe," Ralph said.

"Destroying that Universe would negate Erik and Agony's existence in Legacy after the events of Consuming Madness, let alone Atrocities."

Phil glanced at Ralph. "Then my plan can work. I only hope this will deliver."

"Where are we going?" Ralph asked.

"Get the probe. It's time to undo a universe abortion."

**0000**

The greatest group of superheroes ever assembled stood in an unrepentantly large sub-chamber of the Last Resort room—everyone from Superman to Captain Atom, and from Captain America to Doctor Strange.

The Sailor Senshi from FC-1 were there as well.

"Hi, sweetie!" Usagi waved at GoChibi as her daughter hovered above the room with Ryoko and Omi.

GoChibi blushed. "Hi, mom," she said quietly, and waved nervously.

Everyone stood awkwardly, all the heroes talking amongst themselves about what was going on. Nobody seemed to have an answer, and the air was full with a sense of panic, as if they could lash out and attack at any instant, which would be especially bad if any of the Z-Warriors did so.

Or Superman. Or Bruce Banner.

Thankfully, they had all been given Babel fish, so there were no language problems to work out. Someone had to take charge. "Attention," Omi said, loudly and clearly, using her _ki_ to project her voice. "Hello. I'm sure all are wondering why you've been teleported here. I'm sure those in charge here will know of the Physics Police."

"Not those mean guys again!" Usagi blurted. Apparently, the time line shift that had made her smarter hadn't granted her any more tact.

"Unfortunately, yes," said Omi. "There is a reason you've been called here, and it is of utmost urgency. There is an unbeatable force of pure evil here, in this building, and she must be stopped."

"I warn you before hand; no pain you cause her will hurt her," said Ryoko, reciting what Celeste had told her. "She can regenerate all injuries, and the pain she inflicts on others as well as the pain you inflict on her only aids her in this ability. And she enjoys it."

"Really," said GoChibi, "We don't even think any of you can kill her. Her name is Agony."

On cue, Celeste turned on a hologram of the monstrously evil woman, and several shocked exclamations came from the side of the room containing the heroes of the Dragon Ball Universe.

"I thought she was dead," said Goku from the other side of the room.

Celeste walked forward and greeted the Z-Warriors. "I'm sorry, but she's back now. And she threatens to do the same thing here that she did to your world, Goku."

"Our best bet is to get her into a SERAI chamber," Omi said, "something like a Danger Room," she explained, which at least made sense to the X-Men. "It's a holographic chamber that distorts space and creates hard light illusions."

"Once she's inside, you can all unleash your powers without fear."

"Sounds like a plan," Wolverine said, extending a claw. "But how do we know you can be trusted?"

"Indeed," Question, the objectivist Justice League conspiracy theorist asked. "How do we know that you are who you say you are."

Now it was Erik's turn to calm everyone. "Trust me," he said. "When you meet her, you won't be able to help but _know _she is evil. I'm just afraid this is too little too late. I feel her growing stronger as we speak..."

"I really need to know," Garfield Logan, the Titan known as Beast Boy and Changeling asked, "that if you beamed us here, why don't you just beam her where she won't hurt anyone?" His seasons on Space Trek had given him a repository of Science Fiction solutions. Things normally weren't that easy, of course.

"We've tried that," said Erik. "But her regenerative abilities reassemble her just as fast as the beam can take her apart."

Beast Boy blinked. "That sucks."

"Anyone who doesn't want to fight her is free to leave," Omi offered.

Everyone took one more look at the hologram, and the consensus was this: they were heroes. There was no turning back.

**0000**

The Sky Field, an enormous open room near the base of the Physics Police's massive HQ, sprawled out before Agony. And soldiers were everywhere. Before realizing the folly of it all, O'Conners had authorized the armies of the multiverse to attack Agony.

And she was winning.

Blaster bolts rained down as Arc troops charged the devil woman, being cut down where they stood by Agony's meta-morphing fingernails. Blood leaked onto the massive battle floor, and more blaster blots slammed into Agony, exploding on contact and tearing off her flesh, shattering her bone, and burning her to a crisp. Giant Star Destroyers above her rained down with turbo lasers, but every time she survived and kept on walking.

A line of Clone Troops blasted at her. The lasers tore her to shreds, but the dark power that give her life pulled her back together and sealed the wounds tight. Agony extended her hands outward, and her fingernails shot off in ten centimeter segments plowing through the troopers and then changing vector, blasting through more troopers, or the same ones, causing blood to explode out of the poor soldiers and energy to pour into Agony. As she continued to walk forwards towards the Big Gate that let all the ships and soldiers in, Agony stepped over a bleeding corpse of one commander Dibraq, removed his helmet, and tore off his ear. She ate it, and kept going, stepping on his head and crushing it as she went...

"TAKE THIS!" came a call from a nearby unit of medium tanks, and an Orange Star Army CO named Max blasted Agony with medium tank guns, shredding the body. But Agony yet lived, blasting across the distance and driving her extended index fingernail through his shoulder, slowly arcing it down to his heart, and sucking the blood therein into her own body through the orifice her hand had become.

Max was only saved from death when the Yamoto Cannon of a Confederate Battleship tore through Agony, knocking her from her perch on Max's tank and into a pile of reformed Yuuzhan Vong, who made short order of tearing into the evil femme fatal with characteristic battle-born glee.

They harrumphed a Vong battle cry, tearing Agony's body parts from the fray they had caused and spreading them out, howling in victory at her apparent death, covered in her blood, but not caring.

Then, said blood hovered off of them and pooled in the air, the veins that contained it pulled themselves together with dark energy; her body reconstructed itself in a matter of seconds.

Agony laughed sadistically, and through her fingernails out, extending them as they cut through Vong and human and any other race that got in her way, slicing them up, and whenever possible, launching edible organs her way.

Perhaps now that she was here, she would kill Bacchus and take his ability to generate wine, which she would apply to all future cuts, just to make them sting. Though, that would prevent potentially painful infections later, which she would enjoy. But normally, her victims didn't live long enough to get infections...

Agony shrugged. She didn't know where to find Bacchus anyway. She formed a fireball and hurled it at a nearby Galaxy Class Starship, and writhed in glee as she felt it's crew die while the ship fell apart and crashed into the ground, where it killed yet more people, making Agony stronger still.

**0000**

"Admiral Thrawn?" Gilad Pellaeon prompted the blue-skinned red eyed Chiss—the current leader of the Imperial Army. By his way of measuring time, anyway. "Orders?"

He still didn't really understand what was going on, but when a single woman had began tearing through the armies gathered here for no reason, the _Chimaera_ had begun firing at her. Now it seemed she was more than any one could handle. Thrawn would know what to do, of course. Even if it was a strategic retreat back through The Big Gate.

Right now, Thrawn really wished she had had some art from whatever culture had raised the murderous woman. But since he didn't, he decided to retreat. "Tell the ships to fall back through the spatial anomaly that brought us here," he said. "This enemy is far less predictable than the Rebels."

**0000**

"Phil," Ralph asked, "why are we standing on the roof of S.T.A.R. Lab's in Florida in the middle of a DC Universe with no apparent ties to Agony or Ash The Wanderer?"

Indeed, the building was located on a small island in the middle of an obscure bay with a curious lack of a city around it. It seemed utterly unimportant.

Phil activated the probe and it hovered up next to his head. "This probe is a Psychic Detonator—it sends out mental impulses. And I'm going to use it to reshape this universe!"

"What?" Ralph blinked.

"I have programmed it to detonate at the beginning of time, which will cause the waves therein to influence the development of this world." Phil pressed a button, and the probe began to fly off the building and looped back around in a long arc. After several flashes, the probe reached 88 MPH and disappeared into the past.

"What did you program it to change?"

"I uploaded it with the entire contents of a particular fan fiction storyline. If my calculations are correct, we will see results in 88 seconds.

"What if you overshoot and miss the beginning of time?" Ralph asked.

"Not a problem," Phil said. "It is programmed to keep going until it stops detecting a fourth dimension."

"Right."

Suddenly, the universe distantly began to vibrate with blue-white energy, and distort. Where there had been no city, there was now a city, growing suddenly from the swamps around the building. The building itself suddenly underwent a violent transformation, becoming a large T-Shaped structure, most of the island having sunk into the bay. Only about twelve acres remained.

"It worked?" Ralph gasped, suddenly standing on a very different type of ceiling.

"Of course it did." Phil said.

"_I helped him think of it_," Io forced him to blurt.

"You did not! Not this time!" Phil shot back.

Ralph rolled his eyes. "What was the point of us being here again?"

"I'd like to ask you the same question," a nearby voice said. The duo of Physics Police turned to see the Teen Titans, those of the animated persuasion, leering at them threateningly. The speaker had been Robin, and Starfire and Beast Boy were with him, along with one other—a tall youth with spiky white hair, wearing all white as well. He was their target.

"Noel 'Savior' Collins," Phil said. "I am Phil," he gave his last name, and held out his badge, "of the Physics Police. I need your help."

The young man blinked. "You want _me?"_ he stated more than asked.

"Yup."

"What have I done?"

"You're not under arrest, kid.

"I don't trust you," Savior said at last. "I have no reason to, and I want some answers."

He held up his hands and white strands—the Shimmer—lashed outward, hurling towards Phil to wrap him up. Phil just turned on his Reality Checker, causing the strands of nervous system based energy to fall limp and use their namesake shimmery quality upon entering.

"That Shimmer yours is _exactly_ why we need you, man," Ralph said, trying to send reassurance to the teen though the force, and hoping Phil knew what he was doing.

"You..." Noel could not get his Shimmer to work inside the field. "You seem to know a lot about me. Would you care to let me read your mind? It would help me trust you."

"Why not," Phil shrugged, dreading the wet willy potential of what Savior had to do to read minds...

After a while, the youth was convinced and prepared to leave his Universe. "You'll be back before you know, it," Ralph said. "And we'll erase your memories if you want us to."

"I can do that myself," he sighed.

Raven came over. "Noel, are you sure?"

"It's O.K., Rae." He smiled, something he hadn't been doing much, after going insane and all. "These people are telling the truth."

As the duo now a trio left, Raven whispered, "Yes... but about what?"


	3. Obligatory Big Fight Scene

**Ballad of the Physics Police**

**Chapter 69: The Obligatory Big Fight Scene**

"Crud!" Goku screamed, as the Z-Senshi surveyed the trail of blood and dead, rotting bodies of all sizes and races that Agony had left in her wake. He glanced around at his friend Kuririn, and his son Gohan. They had accompanied him to the last room where Agony had been sighted by a living person, and found that whoever they had been, they were no longer living.

Kuririn agreed with Goku's expletive and pulled out a mobile communicator that Bulma had rigged up. "Any luck on your end, Trunks?"

"The lavender-haired youth's voice crackled over the device. "If by luck, you mean trails of dead bodies, then yeah. We've had plenty of 'Luck'—so much that I'm sick of it. She's alive, Goku, there's not any doubt in my mind."

"'Fraid so," Goku agreed.

"Remind me to _thank_ Erik whenever I see him, for making me forget the first time she killed me." Trunks said, not hiding both how emotionally distraught he was, and sounding quite queasy as well.

"How's you're dad holding up?" Gohan asked his friend, and, in another dimension, apprentice.

"About as stoic as ever. Thank Dende he isn't pondering suicide this time."

"I heard that," Vegeta's voice said.

"Guys!" The third team, consisting of Goten, Piccolo, and Pan, reported, with Pan as the spokesperson, "I didn't see it myself, but... Piccolo says he found a trail of FRESH victims with his blood scent. Get over here ASAP!"

"Right!" Goku grabbed his son and _compadre _and used Instant Transmission to quickly collect Trunks, Vegeta, and Yamucha, and arrive at Pan's location quickly.

"Follow me," the Namekian said.

**0000**

Unfortunately for Erik, (or perhaps for Agony) he found her first.

"Burning Penance!" Erik cried, unleashing a brand new attack on the spot—a holy charm that lashed out, burning as it went into Agony's face and exploded, blasting away her evil flesh. The flesh she had stolen from Ecks.

It healed, as always, and Agony charged Erik with her sharpened claws, lashing and slashing in a furious display rivaling the one Erik had used on her earlier. But Erik kept up with her, swinging the new Evil's Bane Katana that Dr. Fate had forged for him out of a mixture of Nth Metal and Molybdenum Steel. He also had been helped in other ways: "This ki upgrade that the Elder Namek gave me feels really good," he called Agony by his favorite expletive for her. "I can even keep up with you now!"

The two went into a flurry of cutting and slashing, their limbs and weapons blurring with motion. Erik flung his sword high, at Agony's head, but she blocked with her right hand and flung a sharp blade at him with the other, which he had to disengage and reverse to deflected. He drove his sword forward towards Agony's skull, but she leaned back, knowing what this blade could do to her.

"Don't you ever give up?" she asked, suddenly spewing a stream of blue fire from her mouth, covering Erik in it. "Oh, right. Let me answer that for you. NO!"

The blaze consuming Erik grew hotter as Agony willed it to. He rolled away, trying to put the blaze out, even has his hairs were singed by the heat. _Curses. I should have seen that coming!_

Suddenly, a soothing torrent of water poured on him. He looked up to see Garth, the former Aqualad, now called Tempest. Garth leaped up to avoid a dart from Agony and hurled a fireball at her—she welcomed it, subtly changing her perspiration to be flammable right before it hit, causing the fire to consumer her.

The pain gave her a spasm of pleasure and she walked forward, still burning like the hell wench she was. "She really does enjoy pain," Garth whispered.

"ARGH!" Erik jumped to his feet, right as Agony stepped into position. "INSANITY LIGHT!" Vengeance dived to the side of the hall and launched the attack, just as the door behind her opened and two adhesive strands lashed out and grabbed her by the ankles. The attack by Erik and the webs of Spider-man conspired to drag Agony into the SERAI room, where the other heroes were waiting. (Except for the Dragon Ball heroes, who arrived shortly later.)

Agony barely had time to react, when a Diablo Rogue attacked her with a holy sword, severing an arm and opening her up to a powerful kick from Spider-man. Agony flew up, suddenly feeling the painful wrath of over one hundred superheroes, and loving it. The tore into her, the League, the Avengers, et all...

And Agony drank the pain up. Superman darted down, pistoning his fists into her face, breaking bone and such. The pain let her re grow her severed arm, and she used the sudden healing to her advantage—thrown off the change, the heroes never saw her attack coming. Agony lashed out all five fingernails on the repaired hand, cutting through superheroes and spraying blood everywhere. As they looked around, the only death appeared to be the Diablo Rogue that had severed her arm in the first place.

Superman continued to fight, but it was clear Agony was recoiling less and less from his blows as her own chi grew stronger.

The Green Lanterns Kyle Rainer and John Stewart flew in to help, blasting at Agony with their rings, all the while Superman pummeled her with his fists, and occasionally blasted his heat vision into her face...

But nothing hurt her! And to make it worse, Agony was just LAUGHING the whole time, enjoying the brutality they were inflicting on her.

She enjoyed dishing it out just as much. Blasting up with speed rivaling the Flash, Agony began raining down bolts of red fire—her fingernails launching off and bursting into plasma, tearing through the superhero crowd. The ones that could erected shields for the others.

Never the less, when it was over, Tim Drake and Bruce Wayne staggered over dead, their insides oozing out in a pile of melted goo, unable to bear the assault not being metahumans and having no defense against the evil woman's assault...

"BRUCE!" yelled Superman! But rather than examining the body he knew was dead, he charged Agony, ready to pound the witch into submission—when he was cut short by Agony's grabbing his throat. She opened her mouth...

And revealed a green glow inside.

"HOW?" Clark asked, even as he felt the weakening effects. Agony breathed the Kryptonite radiation out on him, and Clark began to suffocate. The Green Lanterns attacked, as did Superboy, Iron Man, and the Silver Surfer, but their efforts were complicated when Agony erected an energy shield with a wave of her hand.

"I'm busy," she said quietly. Hurling Superman against the simulated stone wall of the holographic British castle that the SERAI was simulating, Agony coated her fingers in the deadly irradiated green substance and stabbed the nails into Kal-El's chest, and he screamed out in horror and pain at being violated. She continued to carve, none of the Superheroes able to do anything about her shield, even as the red blood leaked onto Superman's blue costume.

But Superman just refused to scream again. He saw the pleasure in his eyes, and determined to not give that to her ever again! Her fingers continued to cut and open, eventually allowing her to plunge her entire hands into Superman's torso, and the blood leaked out all the more. Agony began fluctuating energy and temperature at different points on her hands, causing the Kryptonian severe anguish.

"Go ahead," she said. "Let it out. Scream till your heart is content. You won't have one much longer."

Superman continued to refuse.

Agony began tugging at his internal organs, slicing through a rib, here, puncturing a lung there. Then she placed her right hand around his heart.

"SCREAM! SCREAM ALREADY!" Agony cursed and swore at Superman, demanding that he scream, that he show some reaction to the torment she was causing him, but he did not.

"I..." Clark said laboriously, "will.. not... humor... a sadist... lie YOU!" And with the last word, he looked up and red beams exploded from his eyes, tearing through Agony's face and knocking her away from him.

As Agony's head reformed, the suffering Kryptonian was horrified to hear her laughing—LAUGHING!

"Humor me," she said. "How much voltage _does_ it take to kill a Kryptonian? Let's find out! One... Two... THREE!"

Agony used the powers of the Rogue she had killed and cast chain lightning, and continued to cast it. The red evil electrons crackled out, filling the air inside Agony's bubble shield with ozone and tearing through Superman's open chest cavity, pinning him to the wall. "DIE! DIE! DIE!" Agony screamed.

The heroes continued in their attempts to penetrate Agony's shield, but it was no use—she had grown too strong. And with Superman about to breath his last, she was about to get a whole lot stronger.

**0000**

"NO!" Omi screamed. "Superman is about to bite it! We have to do something!"

"If she can kill him, she can kill us!" GoChibi counter argued.

"Teleport in the medics. Send Dende. He should be able to heal Supes right up," Ryoko reasoned.

"OK. Sending medics." Omi said.

GoChibi announced, "The Captains Marvel are also prepped. I'm getting ready to drop them into the SERAI."

"Good." Omi glanced back at Celeste, who was growing worried...

**0000**

Having quickly recovered from using Insanity Light, Erik started towards the SERAI room, suddenly noticed that time had sped up inside, and to them, he was movign incredibly slowly. Indeed, it looked like Agony was about to kill Superman! That did not bode well.

"OH," but before he could finish swearing, Goku and the rest of the Dragon Ball Z gang blasted by them. "Goku!" Erik blurted.

"It's good to see you again, Erik" Goku said. "Though, I wish it were under different circumstances."

"Let's go make Agony feel her namesake," Erik agreed.

The Z-Warriors entered.

**0000**

"Now where are we going?" asked the Teen Titan Savior.

"I have a stop to make," Phil said, reprogramming the dimensional gateway, "before we go destroy Agony."

"If she is so terrible and bad, then how do you know your plan will work?" Savior asked.

"Yeah. Did the author tell you?" Ralph asked.

"Not this time," Phil admitted. "But I have a feeling."

Savior arched his eyebrow at the mention of the Author, but let it slide. He had enough of such crazy theories back home. "What part, pray tell, do I play in this, anyway?"

"Agony does not speak German," Phil said. "That is a problem my plan must overcome for this to work."

"I don't speak German!" Noel blurted. "And if you're thinking what I think you're thinking, it won't work. I've already tried it," he said, thinking of one Robert Candide.

"It will work on her," Phil insisted.

"You've gone insane," Ralph sighed.

"Always been there," Phil reminded him.

"Oh, yeah."

Savior was growing more and more uncomfortable.

**0000**

The three merged from the void between dimensions in a beautiful forest, filled with, as most forests are, trees. It also had quite a bit of grass and the like.

"Where are we now?" Ralph asked.

"The Fairy God-Mother's potion shop," he said.

"As in from _Shrek 2_?" Noel blurted, recognizing the familiar CG environments.

"Yes, from _Shrek 2_. Well, technically the correct term is _Universe TY-32-324G-SK_ but... never mind that."

The two walked through the woods till they came across the potion shop.

"Rob was right. I don't believe it, but Rob was right." Noel could not believe it.

"Rob?" asked Ralph?

"The bane of my existence," Noel explained.

"Ah." Ralph said. "I used to have one of those," he said, thinking of Gertrude. He wondered how she was doing with Juan and that French _Chateaus_ thing.

Using his badge to get him places, Phil reached the Godmother's private room in record time. "Hello, Godmother," Phil said. "Physics Police."

The godmother looked up from the potion she was stirring and gasped "Whatever it is, it wasn't me! I haven't done anything wrong!" She insisted, casting spells to hide certain ingredients she'd been using.

"No, you haven't," Phil said, "nothing we have jurisdiction over, anyhow," Phil walked over and placed a hand on her desk. "I need you to make me a love potion."

Ralph and Noel goggled. "A LOVE POTION! Phil, this is no time to think about your love life! People are dying!"

Phil cut him off, snapping in anger, "I _know _that. Trust me here. What is Agony's least favorite thing in the worlds?"

"Love?" Ralph answered.

"Love?" Noel asked confused.

"Exactly! I theorize that I—we can use a love potion as a neurotoxin

." He turned back to Godmother. "I'm going to watch you make it. It cannot—I repeated CANNOT—have any lust, or any other sin in it. That will only make Agony stronger."

"Oh, fine," said the ancient winged woman. "I'll get to work. But I expect to be well paid!"

"You will be. Just worry about taking care of that son of yours."

**0000**

Dende began to heal the severely wounded Superman, just before realizing that he didn't have any idea about Kryptonian physiology. Neither did his helpers, the Starcraft medic that had been beamed in beside him, and the young, mildly Force sensitive Jedi healer Chadra-Fan named Tekli.

The three went to work doing the best they could, but Superman was barely improving.

Ami Mizuno dashed over and began demanding answers. "What is going on? He's one of the best here! We need him!"

"I'm sorry," said the Medic angrily, "but I know nothing about this guys body. His insides are turned to mush, and I have no idea what is going on here. I'm doing the best I can to fix him, and it's all the green guy can do keep him from going brain dead." The medic paused a minute. "So you should just shut up and let us do our job."

The medic fought back tears of confusion and frustration as she went back to work, not quite understanding the forces involved in this conflict.

"Fine," said Ami. She ran off towards the battle, where the three Captains Marvel—Captain Marvel, Captain Marvel Jr., and Mary Marvel—were fighting with the evil which Agony. Suddenly, the other Senshi were with her.

"We should help out," Usagi said.

"MOON PRISM POWER... MAKE UP!" She said, using her locket to transform into Sailor Moon.

"Mercury Power... MAKE UP!"

"MARS POWER... MAKE UP!"

"JUPITER POWER... Make up!"

"Venus POWER. MAKE up!"

Suddenly, the five teenage girls became the five soldiers of the Moon Kingdom. "On my mark," Usagi called, having grown a brain, and into her role as leader quite gracefully.

"Moon Tiara Boomerang!" The glowing Tiara lashed out, cutting into Agony's face just after it had been pierced by Mary Marvel's fist.

Spider-man swung in and wrapped Agony tight in webbing, and Captain Marvel continued his assault.

"I think that Tiara attack actually hurt her!" Makoto said.

"Of course!" Ami realized.

"I'm the Senshi of Love and Justice," Sailor Moon announced. "And if what GoChibi told us is true, then love hurts her!"

"Does that mean..." Rei thought aloud. "That Usagi can defeat Agony?"

Ami, being the only one who remember that Usagi had been stupid her whole life up until the time shift, nearly facevaulted.

**0000**

Unfortunately for the Sailors, Phil had other plans when it came to Agony's defeat. "Thank you, Godmother," he said, taking the potion and handing over 500 of the currency of Shrek's Universe—gold coins.

"You're mighty welcome," she said, testing to make certain the money was real.

Phil tossed the vile to Ralph. "Take that on out. I'll be on in a minute."

"Ah-HA!" Ralph blurted. "I knew you had an ulterior motive for coming here."

"Just go, or no Gargle Blasters for a week!"

"Fine. C'mon, Saver."

"Savior."

"Whatever."

When the two were gone. Phil approached the Fairy Godmother, and quietly asked for another potion... something for a bit more of a personal reason...

**0000**

The Z Senshi and Erik burst into the SERAI room, just as Superman fell to the ground, and suddenly medics were teleported in to help them, a girl in a white robotic suit, a small rat-like creature, and Dende.

"Is Superman dead?" Yamucha gasped.

"I still sense life in him," Goku said. "But his chi is low. Unless Dende can help him, he will die."

"We don't have the time to wait," Erik said. "Let's galvanize everyone. If we attack simultaneously..."

Suddenly, Agony lashed down a claw and grabbed Ma-Ti of the Planeteers by ramming a fingernail through his right shoulder and then hooking it back through the left one, and jerking the young South American man into her still formidable bubble shield. She began to torture him, and unlike Superman, he was screaming.

"NO!" Goku hurled a huge blast of chi at the shield—it exploded on the shield without so much as a rippled.

**0000**

Within the shield, Agony continued to inflict pain on the youth, and the youth cried out, wanting to die. But she couldn't have that yet; she was enjoying his pain too much. She slid a sharp fingernail across his hamstring, digging in deep...

"ARGH!" The boy cried, tears streaming down his face.

"Why don't you cry about it," she mocked. "There really is nothing ELSE you can do."

"HEE..."

"What's that?" Agony asked with a wicked smirk.

"ARRT!" Ma-Ti finished, using what strength he had left to hold his ring to Agony's face.

Amber waves washed over the foul demoness, and she cried out, hurt by whatever he contained.

"HEART!" Ma-Ti repeated more firmly, and the waves increased in intensity, washing over Agony and leaving her writhing in her namesake, still hovering above the shield.

**0000**

"NOW!" Goku screamed, both vocally and through a Telepathic link that someone had established between assortment of heroes.

The Z-Senshi cupped their hands, and a cacophony of _Kamehamehas_ and three _Final Flashes_ echoed out, and all the Marvel and DC heroes attacked in tandem, Iron Man with Missiles, Koriand'r with Starbolts—everyone with their own weapon or power. And a brilliant swirl of light and color flashed out as the heroes of twenty fandoms lashed out with their powers, blasting Agony's shield.

This time it rippled, obviously surprising Agony, as, even through the pain Ma-Ti inflicted on her, her lustful eyes shot even wider in shock, and she dropped Ma-Ti as her shield collapsed. She didn't see him beamed out and over to Dende by the diligent girls back in the LRR. No, she was too busy, being consumed by the combined powers. She fired back with her fingernail darts, and extended her hair out in blade-like strands. But it was no use.

Agony rode the beams of power and heat all the way back to the simulated holographic castle.

**_KRRAAKOOOMM!_**

Agony was torn apart, her atoms shredded, her molecules broken to their components, and her entire body charred to nothing.

"WE DID IT!" shouted The Flash, Wally West.

"I don't feel her chi anymore," commented Kuririn.

"Does that mean... she is gone for good?" asked Nightwing.

Goku nodded and gave the victory sign. "That wasn't as hard as I thought it would be." Then he looked around. Bodies were scattered about, a quarter of the heroes dying.

"Yes. It was costly," Nightwing nodded. "But..."

"She's still alive," Erik stated. "I can still sense her."

"What?" Someone blurted.

"GET DOWN NOW!" Erik suddenly screamed. "THROW UP A SHIELD!"

The fingernail darts. The ones Agony had scattered allover the ground earlier. They had not been an attack; they had been _survival!_

Now they lashed throughout the room, cutting into undefended superheroes, and spraying their blood across the ground; everyone who could not find a shield from the Lanterns or otherwise was impaled, skewered. Many heroes keeled over dead, leaving only a relative handful standing as the storm ended and the blades that had wrought the carnage came together. Merging into one mass, the bloody projectiles assumed the shape of a human woman.

"That was fun!" Agony laughed, looking at the remaining heroes.

The Z-Senshi, Superman and his medics, and The Avengers, in addition to Nightwing and most of the League had survived thanks to the Green Lanterns, and Spiderman found himself in Jade's arms, covered by her green flame. _Mary Jane is going to kill me if Agony doesn't, _he thought.

**0000**

"How can anyone beat her?" Erik whispered to himself. "This is it. All of us are going to die here. Unless..." he looked down. The Nth metal blade in his hand. He could easily ram it through her brain and leave it there. She would be unable to heal herself; Nth Metal disrupted magical forces. And as his earlier fight had proved, even Xaxargas' magic was not immune.

"You'll have to get close enough first," Agony said, as if reading his thoughts. Erik was shocked for a moment, and looked back to see...

No. Martian Manhunter, Raven, and Tekli were all safe within the crowed. Even as he acknowledged this, the child of Phil beamed the three healers and Superman out of the room. It would be safe.

Erik let relief swell in him, and turned back around

And looked directly into the eyes of Agony, her face suddenly right in his own, her eyes staring back into his, and the consuming madness within them unnerving even him. "Get away," Erik yelled, lashing with Evil's Bane, stepping into the attack.

But with barely a flick of the wrist Agony drove a hand into Erik's gut as the evil woman pummeled his abdomen, and then knocked him away, causing him to slump against the ground. He felt unable to move. _Has she poisoned me?_

It didn't matter. It was all his fault. He had brought her here and here she would reign supreme. If even Superman couldn't find a way to stop her...

Suddenly, a red blur caused Agony's head to explode, and white and blue blurs followed it, slamming into the evil woman with intensity, knocking her into the high sky of the SERAI chamber and then laterally as the three continued to unload their pent up rage on her...

"The Captains Marvel," Erik smirked. "Always thought they were a bit too... _good _to take on Agony. And maybe that will allow them to do it…"

The three continued to assault her, with Captain smashing into her back, driving his foot through it and spraying her wicked blood onto Mary, who, in her fit of rage, did not care. CMJ flew circles around the combatants, blasting in for a destructive blow whenever they let up, and generally doing the most damage of the three.

But all the while, all they managed to do was distract Agony. She ENJOYED the beating, and that only made Mary Marvel even madder. In a blaze of fury, she pounded into the evil woman... And then was caught by the throat. "Thanks. I needed that," Agony said.

Captain exploded forward, putting all the power of Zeus into a thunder charged punch that blasted Agony back against the wall of the SERAI chamber. And then he did something unexpected; he dashed down below her, grabbed her and began to crush her with his bare hands.

This move shocked everyone present, especially the wounded Superman...

"SHAZAM!" he screamed, and Lighting from the ancient wizard blasted down, striking Agony.

"SHAZAM!"

"SHAZAM!"

"SHAZAM!"

The other two Marvels drew close, hovering underneath Captain, and uttering their own words of transformation, reigned the fire of the Six Thunders down on Agony, burning through her body and leaving nothing but ash, in an awesome display of might and electricity.

Marvel dropped the charred husk of a body to the ground, and several of the still-living heroes dashed over to quickly finish the job.

But they weren't quick enough, as Agony recovered almost instantly, and drove a spear through the person who happened to get there first: Kuririn.

Erik looked at Goku's face as he watched his best friend die yet again. It did not flinch. In Goku's mind, giving that woman one _hint_ of the pain he was feeling inside would be letting her win.

"NO!" Captain Marvel flashed over to Agony like a bullet, and the other Marvels followed suit, driving the evil monster away from the rest, and into a far corner of the SERAI room. "You won't kill anyone else!" Marvel screamed in rage. "YOU WON'T!"

He grabbed her, again lifting her above his head. "SHAZAM!" he bellowed at the top of his powerful lungs. The thunderbolt consumed Agony, and when it was over, there was nothing but vapor.

Which Marvel made the mistake of inhaling...

Suddenly, his neck began to bulge as the Agony vapor inside him began flailing about, her only intent to cause pain. Marvel cried out, and through himself to the ground at Agony's behest. Suddenly, through his every pore, Agony began to leak out, tearing flesh and blood off and taking them with her. And to make it worse, she left Captain Marvel alive through the whole process...

He flew up towards the ceiling before she was done... But she couldn't get away, and spikes of darkness burst forth, slicing through Marvel's flesh while the other two Captains could only stare, watching in horror as their leader was mutilated... Agony's body reformed itself, and she hovered near Marvel with an evil red glow around her. Marvel fell to the ground; he could fly no longer. Slamming into the ground, anguish wracked Marvel's body, until he was able to quietly choke out the world_ Shazam..._

Lighting blasted down, and consumed Marvel's body, healing it and returning to its natural state, a child known as Billy Batson. Agony looked down on him with no pity, only contempt. Normally she would have taken great pleasure in the murder of a child. But today, she had bigger fish to fry. "Get out of my sight," she said bitterly, and hurled a fiery energy dart at the boy.

Thinking quickly, CMJ and Mary Marvel blasted quickly towards the bolt, determined not to let another hero and compatriot die...

And at that very instance, Agony blasted a dark telepathic energy into Superman through what little of her power was left in him, knocking the healers away. And with nothing keeping him alive, Superman also succumbed.

The bolt she hurled at the Marvels suddenly grew in strength exponentially, and it pierced the hearts of both Mary and Freddy before stopping. Billy gasped, choking back the tears that threatened to fall. He would never pleasure this demon in that way!

"NO!" he bit out, and fell into despair. The bolt exploded out, consuming the smaller Marvel's in a crimson flame. When it was over, only skeletons remained, and even those crumbled to ash when they hit the ground.

Breaking his vow, now Billy let the tears flow. But... That... wouldn't do! The monster, he hated her! He wanted nothing more than to see her dead! HE HAD TO FINISH HER!

And something deep with in Billy snapped, and he looked to the sky, lighting crackling around him. A lesser mind might have thought he was going Super Saiyan. But no, his powers were coming from elsewhere.

"**_SHA-ZAM!"_** the child bellowed in the voice of 1000 warriors, and suddenly, he was encompassed in an enormous beam of lighting; it permeated his every pore, it cast his body as a silhouette in its brilliance.

And he changed. He drew power from something wiser than Solomon, stronger than Hercules, more enduring than Atlas, more powerful than Zeus, more courageous than Achilles, and faster than Mercury.

**_KRAKOOM!_**

When the light and smoke faded, Captain Marvel stood. But he was not himself. His suit was a brilliant gold, his demeanor focused, unshakable. He was not the child Billy Batson anymore—that child died inside. He now _was_ The World's Mightiest Mortal.

"What the—" Agony was cut off when Marvel blurred so fast it would have given Goku difficulty tracking across the 180 meters of distance between the two and planted his fist firmly through Agony's head; her proceeded to pummel her, then did a spin kick that drove her into the wall of the SERAI room, slamming in, and making a crater.

She looked up from her tomb, livid. Nobody did that to her, even if it felt good. And oddly, it didn't feel all that good. She still found it... enjoyable, the pain. But something about this guy annoyed her. Maybe even frightened her… The look in his eyes was unlike anything she'd seen since the day Erik had gotten his accursed sword…

She launched a thousand fingernail darts at the Big Gold Cheese, as sharp and as fast as her power would allow, and they impacted on his chest.. And bounced off, some even breaking as they fell to the ground.

Agony's eyes shot wide, and she cursed.

She inhaled deeply, and then... A flurry of red blasts of energy erupted from her mouth, streaking towards Marvel. He didn't move.

They arrived.

He didn't flinch. In a series of motions so fast it looked like the space between Marvel's right hand and the beams merely blurred gold briefly, and all the attacks were deflected, drawing a gasp of surprise from Agony.

But it was more than that when streaks of gold blasted allover the SERAI room, catching every blast he had deflected and blasting back towards its point of origin, slamming into Agony, tearing through her and causing the most horrible shriek to erupt from her.

She fell to the ground, broken, terminally wounded, and unable to heal, for she was damaged by her own attacks...

But she got up anyway, a chunk of her right bicep gone and burns all across her stomach. She was certainly in a bad way now, and everyone in the room was overjoyed. She cursed at Billy in words rarely uttered in his home, Fawcett City, and then walked forward, slowly drawing towards him, and having a great difficulty doing it.

She staggered forward, now only a meter from him, and coughed up blood.

Captain Marvel raised his hand to smash her across the room in anger; she couldn't take much more. She would be dead...

"Ah, Ah, Aahh," Agony taunted. "You hit me, and you undo everything you worked so hard for. Hit me, and I will heal."

Marvel said nothing, but lowered his hands, and merely glared down at the vile creature that had so willingly delved into abject wickedness. He despised everything about her, but could do nothing, but watch her as she stood in front of him staring at the ground.

"Now," she said, touching him with her hands on his muscled upper arms, as if to embrace him. A terrible shudder ran up his spine and throughout his whole body, numbing him and paralyzing him, and all the revulsion of the world couldn't hold a candle to the feeling in his stomach "I wonder if you can **_NOT _**hit me!" She said, and for the first time, she looked up at Marvel, her dark, evil eyes, projecting her consuming madness, her unending lust, directly into the depths of Marvel's soul. "Come on! Resist the urge to destroy me! I dare you!"

Sweat ran down the Captain's face, which contorted into a mask of horror as everyone who had died at Agony's hands, their souls tormented in her black heart, cried out to him in their anguish.

Pure evil.

"Do it!"

Marvel could only mumble.

Her eyes bared down on him more.

"HIT ME!"

The souls cried out in torment, her evil permeated his every cell, his ever molecule... He HAD TO BEAR IT!

Agony laboriously pulled herself up, and kissed him, her eyes just millimeters from his...

**_"AAHHHGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!" _**Captain Marvel's eyes would have fallen out of his sockets if they had gotten any wider, as the purest form of revulsion ran through his body, and he snapped, jerking his hand and smashing through Agony, tearing her body to shreds and sending the lower half into the wall of the SERAI room, spattering against it in a mess of blood and gore...

"NO! CAPTAIN MARVEL!" Goku screamed.

The black energy that powered the woman pulled her together, and Captain Marvel collapsed, having seen into Agony's very soul, and unable to do anything but lie on the ground, and stare vacantly at nothing.

She had broken him, and emerged victorious...

Erik swore with every word he knew at her, and some he made up on the spot. No curse in English or Klingon or Ryl or Elvish or the language of Mordor where the shadows lie could fully express how he felt. Neither could any action but one; her complete and utter destruction. He drew Evil's Bane and Redemption. It was time for **_VENGEANCE._**


	4. The Killing Joke

**Ballad of the Physics Police**

**Chapter 70: The Killing Joke**

"What are you doing, Raven?" Robin asked as he followed his dark friend to the roof of the Tower.

"You've been acting way weird ever since Noel left," Beast Boy agreed. "I thought you were over the locking yourself in your room phase."

"I want to know where he is, Gar. I sense that he's in danger." Raven lifted a hand, and the magic sands she'd gathered twirled around making a huge alchemy circle on the room of the tower.. Then she took out a small vile with a green liquid in it., and drank it.

The taste was bitter, but it would enhance her magic enough to travel between Universes. "I've been doing some research. The ancients new of these Physics Police," she said, holding out an old book with the P-Squared symbol on it, along with many words in a language neither Tim nor Gar could read.

"I have to go." She sat down in the middle of the circle, and chanted, "Azarath Metrion Zinthos…Carazon Rakashas Dedere…Vaserix Endirium Celenai… Celenai, Celenai!"

The portal to the realm called Celenai opened in the sky, and light shot from the roof of the tower all the way to the clouds. "I'll be back soon," Raven said. Then she disappeared through the portal.

**0000**

The last of the wounded heroes were beamed into LRR, and the girls breathed a sigh of relief. They looked around. In addition to Dende and Tekli, there was a multitude of Starcraft Medics running around, healing where they could. And with the wave of new wounded, GoChibi defied PP regulations again, and beamed in more. Again, all the same, which began to puzzle Omi.

Sure, in Starcraft, some crummy old game her dad had tried to make her play, all the medics were the same. But that had more to do with the technological constraints than anything. It didn't mean that in the actual Starcraft Universe, that all the medics were the same person. Did it?

She walked over to where GoChibi was beaming in Medics from Universe G4-SC-3494-BW. She paid attention; GoChibi slid a certain bar and then pressed the touch screen when she found a medic, then hit "Energize"…

And Omi immediately saw the problem. "GOCHIBI" she blurted. "Have you been getting all your medics that way?"

"What way?"

"By sliding the Fourth Dimension bar?"

"Yes, I think. I've slid it both ways, to help in diversity."

Omi sweatdropped. "Did it ever occur to you in your pursuit of diversity that ALL THE MEDICS ARE EXACTLY THE SAME!"

GoChibi looked up from her computer and saw that Omi indeed was speaking the truth. "Um…"

"That means you've been getting the SAME PERSON from different minutes of the same day in her life!"

"Oops…"

Chibi Ryoko walked over. "Um, doesn't that create a paradox?" she asked.

"Not as long as we beam them all back to the instant they left... And as long as none of them die."

Ryoko gave a derisive chuckle. "With Agony around, that is easier said than done."

"OK. No problem," Omi said. "GoChibi, just use your Silver Imperium Plot Device—I mean Crystal,--Silver Imperium Crystal to send them all back to their own time when they are done."

"But Mom said never to use it except in a major emergency, and that I would know an emergence when I saw one. This doesn't seem like an emergency."

"Just use it!"

"No. Not unless Mom says I can."

"If you haven't noticed, your mother is sort of unconscious right now!" Omi said, pointing to the bed where the medics were tending to her.

"I'll ask her when she wakes up," GoChibi said defiantly.

Omi started to protest, but was cut off when Celeste, in the viewing section of the LRR, screamed Erik's name loudly…

**0000**

Vengeance dashed at Agony, both blades drawn. He attacked with previously unseen ferocity. He dived next two her and rolled diagonally, switching directions as he rose and stabbing Evil's Bane and Redemption at her stomach. She dodged this, and struck back with a blast that looked like a combination of red fire and sound waves, and knocked Vengeance on his back.

The blades still caused Agony pleasure, but she could absorb the pain of neither, and her dark healing power was disrupted by a cut from Evil's Bane—but only temporarily. Which meant he'd have to land a killing strike with it for it to work.

"Erik," she purred. "Why don't you just stop this mad crusade and die before I have to hurt you again? Though, I'd probably enjoy that."

Vengeance looked at her intensely, not even shivering as he looked into her eyes. "Agony," he said, "I will NEVER stop until you are dead—or until you scatter my atoms across the Universes!" He plunged Evil's Bane into her thy, and brought Redemption around in an arcing slice, but Agony's head jerked back at an impossible angle and the blade missed it. She opened her mouth and black fire arced out and coated Erik's coat, which he threw off, revealing his muscle body and cyborg arm.

"I am the Princess of Xarxagas, Purveyor of Anguish! Herald of Destruction! You will be mine again, Lover, or you will cease to exist!"

With that declaration, Agony's body writhed, and a pulse of power knocked Vengeance away, and the tendrils of the crimson aura that had formed around her plunged through the walls of the SERAI chamber, digging through durasteel and adamantium, all the way into the offices and cantinas, the Wall-Marts and Bucky's Mega Music Stores, the dorms and apartments.

And it killed everything it touched. "Don't you get it, Christopher. Erik. Damien. Ravensky? Nothing you can possibly do…"

Suddenly, before Erik could react to her using his full name, the energy tendrils reached the limit Agony had designated and discharged, causing massive explosions throughout the PP HQ, and the ground rumbled, forcing Erik to dive to it or get knocked down.

Hundreds of thousands died in horror, gone in an instant, and their souls dragged into the hell pit of Agony's heart. She squealed—yes, squealed—in pleasure as the pain and fear rushed into her. She LOVED it.

"…will stop me. You may slow me down. You may inconvenience me. But I SURVIVE." For the first time, Erik noticed even the scar on her face—the one he had made before finishing her off before, was gone. _Because she stole Ecks' body,_ he realized.

Erik swore at her and lunged again, swinging the blades, hoping to score a hit somewhere vital. No such luck. Agony flicked a wrist, and a dark red beam destroyed the floor, slicing through hit on its way to Erik, where it consumed him.

When it cleared only ash remained…

**0000**

"Did you get him?" Celeste blurted. The LRR had narrowly been missed by Agony's assault on the base, and Omi's quick thinking had—hopefully—managed to get Erik out and drop some ashes in.

"We got him!" GoChibi smiled. Relief washed over Celeste like Niagara Falls.

"Oh, thank God!"

Erik staggered into the teleporter control room, confused briefly, then angry for an instant, then finally thankful. He said nothing, but let GoChibi speak.

"Thanks to Omi, you're alive and Agony thinks your dead. You can surprise her now."

Erik glared at the girl. "No," he said. "Agony would know if I had been killed. I'd be hers right now. She knows I survived, even if she doesn't know how."

"Guys," Celeste called. "I think you should take a look at this!"

**0000**

"Guys. Give me your energy," Goku demanded.

"Father, are you sure?" Gohan asked. "Maybe we should fight together."

"No. This is not a request. I demand you all give me your energy."

"Father," Gohan said somberly.

"Goku-san?" Trunks flashed Super Saiyan and reached out his hands. "How much?"

"As much as you can spare," he said quietly.

Agony stood, watching this whole thing rather amused. This would make the fight more interesting. And without Erik there, no Saiyan could hurt her.

"Kakarrot." Vegeta sighed. "Always the hero."

Goku smiled, as the three poured energy into him. Vegeta joined his son as a Super Saiyan and Gohan transformed with his mystic upgrade.

Goku glanced back. "You too, Yamucha. It would honor Kuririn's death."

"I've not seen you this serious in a long time, Goku," the aging human said. He began to spare what chi he had, dumping it into Goku…

When Vegeta finished, he had two words: "Kill her!"

"Thank you, guys." Goku said. Suddenly, the teleportation beams surrounded Gohan, Yamucha, and Vegeta, and the weakened fighters were whisked to safety. Goku unleashed his rage, throwing his head back, he transformed into a Super Saiyan, and then went beyond that, to the upper levels.

He broke into a Super Saiyan Four transformation, but did not stop there. His power kept rising, fueled by his unbridled contempt for Agony. And it snapped. Goku did not know what snapped, but something did. The combined evil of Agony's being, and the pain of loosing his best friend Kuririn… again—it was just too much for him. All the death, and her unabashed glee, taking pleasure in it all. Such was Agony's 'life.'

He could stand no more. His mouth opened in a scream of inner pain as his rage reached equilibrium with is power, and red fur grew and in a blur gained a silver hue. The pupil and iris became solid teal, and his black hair lightened to match his fur, shimmering in the light of his massive _ki _aura.

**Super Saiyan Five**. A level even Agony was unfamiliar with. Mostly because this author is very good at _Dei ex Machinis,_ where as Agony's traditional author tends to drag things out for eons.

"What's this? The monkey people have a new model for me to muck around with?" Agony laughed. "Well, then, Son Goku. Shall we dance?"

"No." Goku said quietly. "No warm up. Just me, destroying you!" Goku blasted from where he was to Agony so fast, that instant transmission would have been slower, and smashed an elbow into her knocking her backwards shattering he ribs. She darted upward, hurling Kienzan at him, and finishing with a linear beam of dark fire.

Goku narrowed his eyes, and a burst of chi destroyed both disc attacks and halting the fire as though it were nothing. This managed to shock even Agony. But that didn't last long, when Goku, appeared on both sides of her simultaneously some how, kicking her back and forth so hard and fast she didn't know if he was using multiform or just moving at super speed. With a burst of black power, Agony halted herself and, forming a sword from her dark power, slashed at Goku.

She missed, and gasped as she realized that Goku was now on the other side of the SERAI chamber. "No…" She hadn't seen him put his fingers to his forehead—which meant he'd done it with NORMAL MOTION.

Angry, Agony did what she normally did to blow of steam: She killed people. Agony hurled ballistic packets of various kinds of energy through the holes her tendrils had made earlier. More people died. More souls and essences became hers. "Wow, that one was spicy," she commented as somebody named 'Zaphod Beeblebrox' entered her dark heart.

She had nearly reached the power she had possessed when she had first come to Goku's world, he mused. And he did so with a preternatural calm…

Goku silently whispered a prayer to Lord Enma for the dead, and then looked at Agony. He knew that his chi would only pleasure her if it weren't born of love. He had no love left—but there was one more way that Goku could destroy her: complete disintegration of every atom in her body.

And he smirked now, knowing that even with her "god mode" boost, he had more than enough power.

"Agony. You've murdered your last victim. Not one more soul will enter your vile prison!"

Somewhere, in Agony's black heart, she feared that Goku's words were somehow prophetic. But she did not let it show. "Big words from the monkey boy."

**0000**

"What!" Phil blurted as he, Noel, and Ralph entered the LRR. "How does Agony know Goku? I thought she did not remember anything that happened because of the time shift."

"You don't know?" Erik gasped. "What happened after I reset time? All I know is that she somehow remembers the alternate timeline. And she visited that Earth a second time… and someone named Buffy Summers was there too. I thought you had a file on her!"

"Most of it is blotted out because it's fan fiction and fan fiction is not supposed to be real."

"Fiction?" Erik grew angry. "You think my life, my seemingly endless struggle against Agony is some hack's fantasy!" Erik grew really angry.

"I'll explain later." Phil said. "Now we have to destroy Agony!" Phil glanced back at Noel and Ralph. "You guys ready?"

"As I will ever be," Noel sighed. He really wanted to go home. But sometimes, to be a hero, one had to do things one did not want to do.

"You think you can destroy Agony?" Erik asked skeptically.

"Not without your help," Phil said.

"Right."

**0000**

Goku, now an SSJ5, cupped his hands. Agony was weak. He was strong, he thought. Technically, Agony wasn't weak, but she was compared to him in this state. He realized it burned chi far too fast to be used for long, so he decided to act. No more letting Agony survive. She did not, after all, deserve to be human.

She didn't even deserve to exist.

"**_OBLIVION KAMEHAMEHA!"_** Goku shouted. His voice reverberated through the damaged, failing SERAI room, and he unleashed the largest Kamehameha wave in the history of all the multiverse. It consumed the entire room, and instantly shorted it out. The spatial distortion that the SERAI made possible ended, and suddenly, the two mortal enemies were in very close quarters…

Agony fought back, knowing the attack would vaporize her, knowing that it had no love and, if she were not vaporized, that she would survive. Her faint aura exploded off her and converted into blackish red energy, lashing out and eating, as it appeared, the wave Goku had launched. But Goku's beam prevailed, and the darts of energy scattered away from the brilliant silver blue. One hit Goku right between the pectoral muscles, but he barely even felt it…

**_KRAKOW! _**

**_VOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!_**

The entire physics police building began to rumble, the Oblivion Kamehameha shaking the continent-sized building to its very foundation. Phil and Ralph stumbled and fell, Noel had to use the Shimmer to hold himself to the ground. Erik shrugged it off.

"That felt like Son Goku," Phil said.

"Did you say Goku?" Noel realized.

"Yeah."

"As in THE Goku… from Dragon Ball Z?"

"What is Dragon Ball Z?" Erik asked.

"NEVER MIND," Phil insisted. "Egad. If you think about such things as fiction being real, you open yourself to all kinds of disturbing questions of your existence."

"Maybe we should get Agony to do that," Erik said humorlessly.

The statement hanged in the air…

**0000**

The gambit had worked. Agony was nothing but a skeleton, but sacrificing most of her epidermal flesh in order to make an energy buffer around her had succeeded, and though the attack had torn all the flesh off her bones, she lived. So did Goku, but that wouldn't last long.

"Ta, Ta," she said to Goku, and phased through the ceiling of the now small room.

"What!" Goku blurted. "Come back here!" He tried to pursue but was unable to take more than a few steps before reverting back to a level one Super Saiyan…

Which was a big mistake, as the gash the dart had carved between his pectoral muscles, which was sealed off by their increased mass in SSJ5 state, opened. And blood began to leak out profusely, it's viscosity removed by Goku's body heat during the Kamehameha…

Thankfully, Omi saw this and beamed him to the medical bay.

**0000**

With most of the base seemingly evacuated, Agony was having a rather hard time finding new people to slay. She had been randomly altering her life signs to avoid detection, however, and had remembered, or perhaps rediscovered, how to sever the link she had with Erik, so he could not track her that way…

And if nobody knew where she was, then how did they know where not to be to avoid her?

Perhaps the whole base**_ had _**been evacuated. Oh well, she could always find one of those nice portals and end up with a whole new universe to play with. Oddly, stealing souls seemed a bit more appealing than it had the day Erik had seemingly killed her.

Suddenly, a familiar ping erupted behind her. The sound she knew too well. The sound of Erik's mechanical hand making a fist around a weapon. How many times she had heard it!

"Good evening, Erik," she crowed. "I knew you weren't dead."

Erik smirked, bitterly. "I've watched this fight, Agony. Love. It still hurts you. And yet my Redemption sword does not."

Agony shrugged. "I guess I just got used to… **_YOUR_** LOVE," she laughed, knowing how much her laugh angered him, and how much that implying that he loved her infuriated him.

"Go away," Erik growled, drawing both Redemption and Evil's Bane again.

"I'm hurt, really….NOT." Agony, forgoing the flight abilities she'd gained, dashed forward, creating a giant scythe of death out of nothing, and swinging it down at Erik. He blocked with Redemption and ran Evil's Bane across her stomach; she jumped back, recoiling from the oddly paradoxical pain. "ARGH!" Agony's outstretched hands unleashed a flurry of crimson and black energy darts, which Erik dodged away from. He leaped at her, and cut with both blades in an X shape, but she avoided them by blurring backwards.

She kicked him in the groin, and then across the room, her foot becoming a spike and driving into Erik's gut and exploding through his back, severing his spine just below the diaphragm.

Blood ran from the wound, but the Vengeance in him kept going. He crawled, even on the wounded stomach, across the floor by his arms only, to where he had dropped his swords. He reached for Evil's Bane, but before his hand could get there, a red bolt of lighting crackled against it. It was deflected, of course, but it prevented Erik from touching his weapon.

"Do I have to do this the hard way?" Agony complained. She kicked Erik in the face, sending him sliding across the ground and drawing more blood from his mouth. She picked up Evil's Bane in her hands, and snapped it in two.

Erik eyed the broken sword, then Agony. And despite his own pain, he crawled towards her again. Leaving a trail of blood on the ground. "Not rest… until you die!"

"You foolish, man. Erik. GIVE UP! No matter what you pull out of you proverbial butt at the last minute, I can always trump. You thought the sword killed me, but it really only HELPED me. It helped me get HERE. Where I can kill the most powerful beings in the multiverse time and time again."

"Not if anything to say about it have I," Ralph said. "Azarath Metrion Zinthos!" Having the psychic spell he had read about once but never felt the occasion to use lashed out and slammed into Agony with dark navy energy, and she staggered back.

Agony blinked.

"What ever that was," she laughed, "That felt good." Red lighting crackled from her fingertips and blasted Ralph back; in all his years, he had never felt such pain. "Now fry, little copper man!" Agony laughed with glee. The only thing she enjoyed more than her own pain was the pain of others.

**0000**

Vengeance reached for the sword. _Not the hilt, you idiot. It's worthless._ The broken blade…

Erik's thoughts were becoming incoherent from blood loss. The only one he could even hear anymore was this: _Kill Agony._

Ralph jumped up and flipped backwards, and in a motion too fast for Erik's blurred vision to track, Phil jumped in as an SSJ2. Only his hair was only blond at the roots. Which would have confused Erik a lot more had he been less delirious.

After pounding into Agony's face a few times, Phil backed off and shot an improved Kamehameha at her, which only stunned her. She darted forward. "Violence is like nectar to me! Why do you continue to…"

Two things happened at once, then. Erik picked up the broken tip of Evil's Bane and hurled it through the air, aiming right towards Agony's head.

And, Phil shot a beam at her foot to stop her momentum.

She jumped to avoid the beam, ever so slightly… causing Erik's aim to fail ever so slightly…

The blade that would have cut into Agony's brain sliced into her upper back, just above where the nerves that send impulses to ones arm lie.

Agony arched an eyebrow. That was unexpected. She fell to the ground, and just lay there, unable to move her arms or legs, and unable to get the knife from her back. Unable to even stand.

Phil blasted her through the nearest window out onto a balcony…

**0000**

"You think you've won because I can't move?" Agony yelled. "THINK AGAIN!"

With barely any effort, a huge wave of fire and heat exploded from Agony's mouth knocking in the building and pinning Phil, Ralph, and Erik painfully to the wall. The building started to collapse around them, and somehow, despite the melted metal, when it was over, they were all still alive.

Including Agony.

Ralph staggered forward, even as Agony began working out a way to get the sword out of her back, despite the fact that the Nth metal of which it was made disturbed her magics.

Curse them, and their luck. How she despised them all. She swore at them, and any time one of them moved, a burst of fire from her mouth would knock them back. "This isn't funny!" she barked, and went into another series of curses. Then she spat up an egg.

"I should have remembered killing the Namek," she chuckled. "Thank Xarxagas for the Namekian reproductive cycle." The egg hatched into a grotesque chibi version of Agony, which ran around behind her and pulled the blade out. Then Agony, stood, picked her offspring up, and ate it.

"Now…" _who's next? _Agony started to say.

"Now …" _what? _Ralph started to wince.

"Now…" _would be a good time to do something before we all die. _Erik tried to groan out.

But what was actually heard, came from Phil, and sounded something like, "NOW, NOEL!"

Just as Agony stepped into room from the balcony, Savior dived from below the floor, bursting through and wrapping Agony up in a cocoon of Shimmer, but before he could get a strand into her ear, she lashed out, and cut the white rope… causing Noel to feel immense pain.

He spoke to Agony words unbecoming of a superhero. She shrugged them off; after all, she was used to it.

Grabbing a handful of the Shimmer, Agony began to torture, Noel, plucking the strands with sharp fingernails like the strings on a cello, playing his talent in a dark ballad.

Savior, to his credit, gritted his teeth and took the torment gracefully, which served to annoy Agony slightly. "Well, your really not much fun," she hissed. "Scream little boy; I can FEEL how much this white goo pains you."

"HEART!" Ma-Ti materialized, aiming his ring at Agony. And in another burst of light and the smell of ozone, Tsukino Usagi materialized as well. "MOON PRISM POWER… MAKE UP!" she yelled.

Suddenly, the girl Usagi was replaced by the Soldier of Love and Justice: Sailor Moon! "In the name of the Moon, I will punish you, Agony!"

"Belgium!" Phil swore. "We're screwed."

Moon jumped over Agony's head and kicked her, Agony still unable to move because of the Heart Ring sending waves of goodness and love into her. She barked, jumping at Ma-Ti through the pain, and slashing at him. He dived back but not before she grazed the ring with her dark blade.

The psychic backlash knocked Ma-Ti on his butt, and almost unconscious. Agony turned her attention to Sailor Moon. "Moon Heart Effervescence!" Usagi twirled around and launched a stream of hearts at Agony, which sliced into her flesh, leaving deep gashes.

Agony swore at Usagi in several languages and dived at her, kicking her magic wand out of her hand. "You want love and justice?" she snarled. "LOOK FOR IT IN HELL!"

And with that, she crushed Usagi's neck, not bothering to absorb the soul of the Soldier of Love as her life's blood rushed out and Usagi crumpled to the ground, dead. Blood pooled around her.

"FRACKING BELGIUM!" Phil swore. It was over. He and Ralph were pinned to a wall, Erik was bleeding to death, and Ma-Ti was scared out of his wits. And Noel was trying to put out the fire on his pain receptors.

"Or just _Far, Far Away_," Ralph corrected. He jerked his arm off the wall, the tiny metal shards that pinned it there tearing his flesh. He pulled out the gun containing the darts containing the love potion, and fired it, three, four five darts. Two missed, one Agony vaporized, not knowing what it was, and two hit her, one in the neck, and the other in the temple.

"What's this? You're so desperate you resort to tranquilizing me?" Agony's voice was full of contempt now, but always with her trademark lust hovering below the surface…

"It's a love potion!" Phil stated confidently. "It should paralyze you."

Agony burst into a fit of laughter, which she found really painful, because of the wound Usagi had made in her stomach, so she quit really quickly—which made the PP really happy, as her laugh was really unnerving. "You think a POTION of 'LOVE' will work against **_me_**?" She opened her eyes for the first since starting her laughing tirade, mildly surprised to see Noel in her face lashing with Shimmer lines. She lashed back, cutting a few and causing Noel more pain, which she drank up in euphoria.

"Love is a choice," she said. "Not a substance. Though I can't help but love this kid, here." Agony glared down at Savior and began picking at his Shimmer strands again, one at a time, pulling them tight and slicing. Jolts of pain wracked Savior's body again and again, and though it was evident he was suffering, he woudl not give Agony the benefit of a scream.

"Come on boy! Sing. I can feel how much this hurts!"

"Yeah." Savior spat. "And..." involuntary tears flowed from both eyes as he bit out one of his old standbys. "Pain... is weakness... leaving... the body!" A Shimmer-coated fist lanced out into Agony's face with the last word, knocking the demonic woman back. Of course, the pain it caused was soothing to her. But the kid hadn't screamed in pain--he'd just been defying her. All too much like Erik for her tastes.

Raising a clawed hand, Agony snarled. "You know how that quote ends, don't you, kid? 'Agony is what remains!'"

With shout of glee she plunged her clawed hand forward, into Savior's neck and through the back...

Or, at least, that's what she'd meant to do... But she found herself unable to go any farther, suddenly... Her entire body had just locked up. Her face, though still bloody and, her eyes, though still full of lust, changed. They were somehow softer, suddenly. Conflicted. And the way she looked at Noel said everything.

Savior facevaulted. This couldn't be right...

"Is this... love?" Agony muttered, clearly suffering the purest form of anguish she had ever suffered. The potion must have... triggered something...

Noel tried to make some sort of objection, but could not. Oddly, Agony just froze in place, her muscles twitching randomly.

"What's going on?" Ralph asked.

"It's working! Noel, she's in love with you; the choice to love you is hurting her, so she is weary of making it; but she saw you first thing after the love… Yeah. Just do the plan."

Noel, feeling extremely filthy, restrained Agony in another body cocoon, and slipped a tiny strand of Shimmer into Agony's ear, then flung another strand across the hall into Ralph's. The Shimmer itself protested, wanting to reatreat into Noel's body and sleep off the trauma it had just undergone. Noel had to force it to do his bidding.

"Do it!" Savior said, "She is starting to squirm! I think the effects are wearing off!"

"Here goes nothing!" Phil said.

Ralph cast a spell that made him deaf for the next thirty seconds.

Phil took a deep breath.

Agony burst from the cocoon, slicing it down the middle and causing Noel immense pain.

The Shimmer writhed, protesting that it had to return to it's home, inside Noel's nerves. But Savior held on, forcing it to stay. The Shimmer did not leave her brain!

Then, Phil spoke.

"_Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! ... Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!_"

The word _gersput _seemed to echo through the air, repeating itself numerous times…

Then the sound waves crossed the room, into Agony's ears, where the Shimmer plug in her brain translated them…

And Agony began to laugh. But this time, it was not a cruel laugh. It was not a laugh of arrogance. It was a laugh of pure, unbridled JOY. Perhaps it was the first Agony had ever felt outside of causing pain. And she did not stop laughing, though it hurt her physically. Light exploded in beams from her eyes, then from her mouth, and eventually, light burst from every pore in her dark body, till she was like a walking blob of light, with a dark skeleton underneath…

_Laughing_.

"It's working!" Phil said with glee. He looked over and saw that Erik had lost a lot of blood, and was unconscious. He glanced at Ralph who cast a healing spell. The wound closed, but the blood loss still weakened the vigilante…

"It isn't working," Savior informed them, staggering away, his eyes soaked from the pain of having the Shimmer cut so much. He slumped against a wall, the Shimmer retreating into him to rest._ Forever, it hoped._

Agony still stood, within the consuming light, her energy working over time to heal her body. But the damage the sweet pain of laughter did to her body, she could not undo fast enough. It was consuming her, but slowly…

And with all the souls she had absorbed, it might be TOO slowly.

Suddenly, one last whiff of ozone brought GoChibi into the fateful hallway. "Mommy!" she blurted, dashing to the dead body of Usagi, lying in a growing pool of blood. "Mommy!" GoChibi began to cry, the Saiyan in her wanting to fight with pride, the Senshi in her wanted to fight for love. And justice. "Mom. Please, I don't want you to go! We need you! It's a big... emergency."

And suddenly she knew what to do. Removing the Silver Imperium Crystal, she closed he eyes and held it over her mother…

Agony continued to laugh.

**0000**

"OMIGOSH! OMIGOSH!" yelled Omi. "She is using the Silver Imperium Plot-Device. She is using the Silver Imperium Plot-Device…!" Omi's face went from elation to chagrin. "But she's using it for the wrong REASON!" she said, glancing back at the medics, all the same woman from different parts of her life.

Ironically, the fact that time caught up with the medics and that and they shared many memories, the medics worked with supernatural precision, healing even better than Dende and Tekli could.

Ryoko would never let her hear the end of it…

"You were saying?" she kept mocking…

**0000**

In a pulse of light, Usagi leapt to her feet, twirling in a massive glow from the Crystal. Sailor Moon was back! Tendrils shot out from the healing light, blasting the suffering Agony backwards, and into the sky. It began to rain…

No. It wasn't rain. It was blood. Even in horrible anguish, the sweet pain of laughter, Agony's power still existed, and still affected the world. The ground, countless miles below, erupted into fire…

And the group was beginning to think it was time to add the sweetest pain of all: Love.

"I think I know the problem," said Sailor Moon.

"I think I do to," Erik agreed, suddenly more hopeful than he had been in a long time.

"Love, or joy alone only hurt her…" Usagi smiled.

"But love and joy together will obliterate her.."

Ma-Ti smirked, his fear smashed to bits by the new hope. "Then let our powers combine!" He drew all the love left, all the love he could find in the entire Physics Police base, into his ring. "HEART!" An orange beam lashed out, unlike anything he'd ever seen from his ring before.

"SUPREME TIARA BOOMERANG!" Usagi screamed, infusing it with her love power.

"Holy Light!" Ralph said, casting a spell from a scroll.

And Phil, sucking whatever goodness he had left in him into the chi in his hand, coined an attack on the spot. "Er.. JUSTICE BLAST!" he shouted uncertainly.

Erik stepped forward, holding out Redemption. The blade seemed to melt into an ivory glow around him, and then, he hurled a new attack. "PURITY'S GAVEL!"

A hammer, like Thor's Mjolnir flew out in a twirl of ivory light.

The attacks collided in the air, and in a blur, flashed into a pure love beam of DEATH, and smashed into Agony, her own mirth supplying the Joy. And the effect was like a match on gasoline, like matter and anti matter canceling each other out…

_**KRAKAVOOOOOOOOM!**_

A massive explosion of good and evil like what had never been seen by mortal men since the beginning of time resounded through the now darkened skies of the Physics Police Home Universe, and the entire cosmos was lit up…

And within the burning ball of love and joy and goodness, Agony died. Everything within her and without was completely snuffed out, and her skull died. For the first time, not laughing. Not in a scream of ecstasy…

For the first time, Agony died with a muted whimper of suffering. All the souls of the people she'd killed spewed forth, including Kuririn, Ecks, and Superman.

This made Erik very happy…

**0000**

Sailor Moon caught her returning Tiara, and waved the Crystal over it to make sure Agony hadn't attached herself to it. The blood rain stopped, the fires went out, and Agony's dark all-consuming madness finally left the realm of mortals for good.

Overwhelmed with an ultimate relief, Erik stepped back from the balcony... It was truly, finally, really OVER. No hiding her essence in his sword. No time resets. No banishing her to a desert for a week. Agony was, once and for all, truly gone. He fell back still weak from blood loss, and a single tear of joy ran down from his biological eye.

"Is she?" Phil asked.

Erik smiled. "Yeah. Gone. This time, I believe it's for good."

Ralph and Phil discussed it. Ralph said, "Well. It's over, I think."

Phil wasn't so sure. "What about Savior? He had a direct link to her brain. If she had thought to escape…"

"NOEL!" a new voice suddenly blurted.

This drew puzzled looks from the rest. Noel was pleasantly surprised. "Raven!" The dark woman who Noel called his girlfriend hovered close to the weakened and weary Savior.

The two embraced and hugged, and Ralph felt them through the Force, the love radiating from Raven into every inch of Noel's being; and that love was reciprocated.

If any of Agony had escape into Noel, it was gone now, washed away by the love of his soul mate. "Nah," he said to Phil. "Not a chance in hell."

**0000**

Two days later, Phil and Ralph sat outside Tenchi's house in FC-1. Usagi and Gohan had taken the girls shopping and given the Physics Police a well-needed break.

"Any word from O'Conners?"

"Yeah. He said that things were going fairly smoothly." A multi-dimensional assortment of scientists had built all the heroes new bodies and their souls had been installed in them, and everyone had their memories quickly erased, except for the Z-Senshi.

That freed the Omni-Dragon Balls (an ancient set from a Namek that had never been ravaged by disaster, with their creator in stasis to prevent him from dying) to be used to revive most of the 1.4 million Physics Police that Agony had killed, along 300,000 of the soldiers she'd slain in Sky Field.

Still, for many reasons, some of the victims here and there could not be revived, and in total, the net loss was about 500,000, with a bit less than half Physics Cops. It was a tragedy the Physics Police HQ would be reeling from for years.

"I heard you received a medal of honor," Ralph said.

"It feels sort of hollow," he said. "So many people died. And Warren is MIA, so I can't even gloat."

Ralph sweatdropped, and Phil removed something from a backpack. "What is that?"

Phil answered. "It is a Happily Ever After potion," he said. "I thought, you know. Maybe Kiyone and me would fall in love a bit faster if I drank this. Sort of a way to apologize for how long I've been gone."

"Weren't chocolates good enough?" Ralph snarked.

Phil sighed, and with reckless abandon, took a swig of the bottle and went to bed.

**0000**

The next day, in a large field, the girls had finally rounded up all the medics so that Omi could once again beg GoChibi to use the Silver Imperium Plot Device to send them all back to when the belonged.

"I can't. My mom said the Crystal shouldn't be used—OMI, LOOK OUT!"

Omi jerked her head around to see a Boeing 747 hurtling towards the ground, about to land right on top of the field of medics. "There's a Boeing gonna kill all the medics!" Ryoko smiled.

"That's not good!" Omi said. "Shoot it down!"

"We can't shoot it down. It has people on it," GoChibi protested.

"Get rid if it!"

"What should we do?"

The plane swooped down till it was about 75 feet above the medics, when suddenly, a flying DeLorean burst in from nowhere, and a young man aimed a small beam out the window, that shrunk the plane and pulled it into the car. "Paradox averted, Doc," he said, and then the car was gone.

"That was close," Omi sighed in relief.

"Falling anvils!" Chibi Ryoko screamed, and pointed up at the sky. Anvils were falling from it towards the medics, just as the girl had said.

"What the…?" Omi trailed off. She dashed over and hovered above the medics, and started blasting anvils from the sky. The other girls joined her, destroying the anvils that fell, and eventually the pianos that joined them.

"I demand to know," GoChibi said, "what sick and twisted personality is responsible for this! Anvils don't just rain down on medics!"

Up in the sky, on a magic cloud, Loki continued to turn a crank on a machine—a machine that spewed out anvils and pianos. He laughed. "This is so much more fun than that stupid bet." Loki laughed, and laughed some more.

**0000**

The next day, Phil awoke, surprised to find that he was a woman. Alarmed, Phil checked the bed and then the whole room for sources of water and found none. She dashed to the mirror, and looked into it. As if all those dreams about Universe Abortions and some vague thing about The Monitor erasing his mind weren't' bad enough, now her Jusenkyo curse was activating dry… How was that possible?

Then, deep within her, a terrible thought formed inside her mind.

She dashed towards the Masaki household, and when she got there, she landed quickly outside and dashed into the house. Someone obviously felt her land, because when she landed, Tenchi was rushing out the door. "Phil! You have to get in here, quick!"

"What's going on?"

Phil followed Tenchi inside, where Ayeka, Mihoshi, and Sasami greeted her.

And then she saw what was happening. Kiyone stood at the far end of the hall, green hair combed. Extremely handsome, Phil thought…

Kiyone was now male…

"Phil?" he blurted. "What is going on here?"

Phil thought briefly about the implications of this ordeal, threw back his head and angrily screamed, **_"CHALTAAAAAAAAAAAAB!"_**

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_Well, that is the end. I've had some positive and some negative feedback. If you liked it, drop me a line and say so. If you didn't, tell me why and I'll take it into account next time I try and write something involving these characters. Until then, good day!_

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